It doesn't ever taste good enough.

My friend Aja and I were hanging out a few weeks ago. Aja and I are very different, but we're very similar in a lot of ways too. One of the things we both do is constantly make parallels and comparisons, taking ordinary, every day situations and giving them deeper meanings. Jesus did that. They're called parables. I guess that means Aja and I are just another step closer to being super Christians.

So a few weeks ago, Aja invited me over for a cup of tea. I'm not British, or even a hipster, and the only tea I drink is highly Southern – dark brown, iced, and sweet. Therefore, the idea of "a cup of tea" was quite appealing, because sometimes I like to pretend I'm another kind of person who likes that sort of thing. There were several different flavor choices for me, and I decided to go with honey lemon. That sounds pretty good, right? Some of you may like it, but my problem is that for so many years, the cough drops at my school were... You guessed it. Honey lemon. And I got sick a lot in school, so I was always in need of some. I kept trying the tea over and over, but I just couldn't bring myself to taste anything but hot throat lozenges. Aja told me to stop drinking it if I didn't like it.

Later on, she decided she wanted to make me a brownie in this little brownie pan that came with brownie mix. Who doesn't love a good brownie? She mixed the stuff, put it in the oven, and about twenty minutes later we were ready to feast. We sat down and began to partake of the desert, soon realizing that it didn't really taste like a brownie... Its flavor reminded me more of chocolate, cardboard, and just plain old, and its texture was dry, yet sticky. Let me just clarify that Aja can make some delicious things... We're pretty sure one or more of the ingredients were way beyond their expiration date. Even though this brownie was clearly no good, we kept on chewing, coughing, gagging, and swallowing through our laughter. I finally looked at her and said, "WHY are we still eating this?!" So we stopped and made a brownie sculpture. I think it was a snowman.

Determined to redeem her kitchen, Aja gave me a red popsicle. It was actually really good! We were both relieved that I had finally found something worthwhile to consume. But I got home, looked down, and a small piece of the red treat had made its way into a fold of my light blue shirt. I just had to send her a picture of the third misfortune.

After all this, Aja looked at me and said, "You should write a blog post about this." She was thinking in parable, and I knew what she meant.

Even today, I was sitting with my friends Ashlee and Juan while eating a grape blow pop.

"I don't like grape," I said while making a grossed out face.

"Then why are you eating it??"

Good question Ashlee. 

I was just trying to get to the gum in the center. Turns out it was grape flavored, too.

So here’s the metaphor: sometimes I feel like sin is cough drop tea, nasty brownies, staining popsicles, and grape suckers.

Just for a brief moment, the object of my idolatrous affection is so appealing to my ever-craving flesh. I taste it. I know there are better things for me that taste infinitely better than this sin, but I continue to eat it. My Abba whispers to me and says,

“Baby girl. Why are you doing that? Why partake of something that destroys?”

I always answer with a solid “I don’t know.”

I know right from wrong. I know what separates me from my Lord. I know what I’ve been saved from, and that redemption and victory are mine because Jesus is mine. I know all of that. Why then, do I continually choose the things I know are detrimental to me?

My brother Paul talks about this very problem in the book of Romans, chapter 7, starting in verse 15.

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate… For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out… Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?”

I think it’s good that at the very least, we hate the things that hold us back from God… At least, those of us who belong to Him feel that way. The reason we hate the bad things is evidence that He has not forsaken us, even in our dirtiest, weakest moments – His Spirit is inside of us. Sin is repulsive to God, thus, it is repulsive to His children. But as long as we are bound to this flesh, we will always be drawn into sin by a ferocious magnet known as the world.

Sin can force itself into a lot of different situations. The source of a lot of your sins can come from unhealthy relationships, any kind of addiction, or even staying too busy with your life to simply acknowledge God for a moment. It doesn’t matter what it looks like; the problem with any and every sin is simply that it’s keeping you from God. Period. He never forsakes us, but we forsake Him. If we are ever without Him, it’s a choice on our part, never His.

What a dilemma. I have been saved, renewed, transformed, and I continually grow in my walk with Jesus. Even so, I still fall for sin all the time. I can’t help it. Neither can you. Grace has paid the price for them all, but I still wish I could be perfect for the God I love. Can you relate to that feeling?

The apostle Paul didn’t leave his message on a sour note, though. He continues by saying,

“Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.”

Paul gets it. And even more so, Jesus gets it. Even though the answer to this Christian problem seems impossible, it is so simple: just keep trying. Let go of the sin by denying the flesh, pick yourself back up, and keep going. Jesus is your biggest fan, always cheering you on in life. I imagine that in all of His grace and love, He says something like, “It’s okay, love! I died for that. Just get up and try again!! Don’t ever give up. We’ve got this.” He knows we’ll fail – the cross He bore was for all the failures of mankind.

The absolute worst thing to do after you’ve fallen short in some area is to sulk in your guilt and try to hide your face from God in shame. Satan lies to us and says that it’s the best thing to do, because God is just mad at you. But the truth is that He sees you always, and He’s so happy to save you from whatever you just did. He loves you. He is so satisfying, yet once you taste His goodness you’ll never be able to have enough. Luckily, His love, mercy, grace, joy, and peace never run out. Strive to be better, and never give up the fight. Know that you are not alone in this fight, either - God made us a body of believers for a reason. Life without Jesus is slightly bearable, but life with Him is abundant and beautiful no matter what.

Savor His goodness, friend, and put down the grape sucker. It’ll never taste as good as you want it to.

Be blessed,
LB