A Letter to the Church and the LGBTQ Community

That title got your attention, huh?

Hey, dear reader. I know that posting a blog like this is a bold move… It’s risky. It’s controversial. Nearly everyone in the world has some kind of an opinion about the Church and the LGBTQ community. I might lose friends over the things I have to say, and I might gain some. But my posting this blog isn’t about me, or how many friends I’ll have after you all read this; it’s about speaking from my heart about something I’ve kept quiet about for far too long.

There are two groups of people (as you read in the title) that I’d like to address. But before I say anything else, let me make something very clear – we are all worthy of love. Genuine love. That means loving strangers without prejudice, and giving every single person grace, forgiveness, and respect. With that said…

To everyone in the LGBTQ community:

There are so many things I wish I could say to all of you at the same time, and for so many years, I’ve wrestled with how I’d say them. I’ll probably post this and then realize later on that there were things that I forgot to say to you… But I’m going to do my best to say the most important things.

First of all, I love you. Genuinely, passionately, whole-heartedly love you without any prejudice. Each of you have stories that make you who you are, just like anyone else, and those stories matter. You matter. You matter to me, to your loved ones, and to Jesus. I have gay, lesbian, and bisexual friends and family in my life who have helped to inspire and shape me into the person that I am today… Not because of their sexuality, but just because of who they are as people. That’s what it’s all about. Although you are a part of a “community,” that community is not what defines you. You have all been created individually, each person having his/her own passions, dreams, and aspirations. You are all beautiful, wonderful human beings who have just as much potential to do good in the world as anybody else. I know you probably already know all of this, or have at least heard it before, but everyone needs affirmation every now and then.

Secondly, I feel like I have to apologize. Not for anything that I’ve done, necessarily, but just because of how certain members of the Church have treated you. I am a member of the Church (Church, capitalized, refers to all Christians), and I know how for some of you, words like “church,” or “Christian,” or especially “Baptist” might make you cringe. That’s because there are so many people who claim to love Jesus Christ, but also spew hate, prejudice, and judgement all over you and your families… But let me make this very clear: any person who is hateful to you cannot be following Christ at the same time. It’s impossible. Our job, before anything else, is to love Jesus Christ with everything we are, and then to love our “neighbor” right after that. Loving you is literally our second priority as Christians.

Therefore, I’m so burdened that there is such a terrible picture that society has painted of the Church… In so many TV shows, movies, and Buzzfeed-type articles and videos, Christians are often depicted as ignorant, hateful people who show no signs of intelligence, grace, or mercy to you. So often, we are all lumped together in the “God Hates Fags” group – a group I never, ever want to be associated with. Yes, there are people in the Church who will be and probably have been horrible to you, because that’s just what we all are – broken, imperfect people. If you've been hurt by the Church somehow, I understand... I've definitely been hurt, too. We aren’t perfect. Even those of us who truly love you unconditionally aren’t perfect. But I’m so sorry if you’ve been hurt by anyone who loves Jesus because of your sexuality/gender identity… That’s not right, and I promise we’re not all like that. Most importantly, Jesus is not like that, and He is not okay with you being mistreated. He loves you passionately, and it’s my earnest prayer that you might find out what a relationship with Him is like; it really doesn’t get any better than loving Jesus and being loved by Him. There is no other place outside the haven of Jesus that you’ll find perfect peace, perfect and unconditional love, and true purpose in this life. Please, please come to me if you want to talk more about it. And if you don’t, know that I’m still loving you and praying for you daily.

So, could you all do something for me in return? Don’t put Christians like me in the same group as those who have been hateful to you. I’m a lot more liberal than some of my super-conservative friends and family members would like for me to be, mostly because of how I love and support you. I’m sorry that we can be a little harder to find, but Christians who don’t judge you do exist. There are even (I’m really about to shake some people here) LGBTQ people in the Church. GASP. Yes. Some in the closet, some out of the closet. There are even churches that preach the Good News of Jesus that will welcome and embrace you without trying to change anything about you… GASP AGAIN. So don’t close yourself off to a potential relationship with Christ just because some Christians are hateful towards you, okay? Jesus is so worth it.

Now, moving on…

To everyone in the Church:

If you’re anything like me, you've wrestled with how to feel, what to say, and how to live when it comes to the LGBTQ community. We are constantly told so many different things about the balance between loving people and holding people accountable, or how to interpret certain parts of Scripture in the right context or translation… I mean, there’s a lot that gets thrown at us that we’re supposed to have all figured out, right? The “salt and light of the world” should at least kinda know what they’re talking about, but it can be hard when there are so many different denominations and opinions out there, telling us how we should all feel about things. Being born and raised in the Southern Baptist Church, and then attending a Southern Baptist college, I’ve recently wondered what my life, worldview, and opinions would look like if I had been raised under a different denomination, or in a different part of the country. Do we believe what we believe because of what we’ve always been told by our pastors, or because it’s truly what God has laid on our hearts to believe? These are just a few examples of those questions I’ve struggled with before. If you’ve never truly wrestled with how we should love people in the LGBTQ community, it’s very likely that your life has never been touched by someone in that community. It’s much easier to be judgmental about things you’ve never experienced or understood.

So I’ll just briefly tell you all what I’ve been led to believe, after many years of prayer and study, and it’s pretty simple if you let it be.

Love. People.

Just love people.

No matter who they are, where they come from, what their stories are, who they’re attracted to, whether they’re democrats or republicans, what they look like, or even whether or not they’ve hurt you personally… Love them. Genuinely, without trying to fix anything about them. Because believe it or not, fixing people is not your job. It’s not your job to say, “Yes, please! Come to church! We want you to meet Jesus! But just so you know, you’re going to have to end your relationship with your same-sex partner eventually.” I mean, are you kidding me? Would you, as someone who knows nothing or very little about the goodness of God, come to church and be open to Jesus if you thought it meant saying goodbye to your girlfriend/boyfriend, spouse, or family? Heck no! 

Here’s what we all have to accept, no matter who we’re dealing with: our job is to love people and get them to Jesus Christ – the One who loves them the most. Then, just like He does with all of us, He will bring the healing, change, and conviction that He sees fit. Not you. Is He not powerful enough to do so? We all have things that He has saved us from, and He continues to save us from ourselves every day that we let Him.

So stop trying to fix people. You are just as broken as anyone else – the only thing that makes You any different is that you are covered in God’s grace. Do you ever grow so completely tired of trying to save somebody from something that you just give up completely? I have. It’s because it’s not our job. God never gets tired, and He never gives up. He sees people to the very core, He knows what He wants to change, and He’s powerful enough to change it. And no… God might not choose to change a person’s sexuality. He might not change their minds about how they want to identify in our society. You have to be okay with that.

Stop being so closed off to anyone different than you. The love of God is all-inclusive, not some exclusive club for those who fit the mold that people created. 

It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand how two people of the same sex can be attracted to each other. It also doesn’t matter if you don’t understand why someone would feel the need to live as a different gender than the one they were “assigned” at birth. Every human being deserves respect, and we are called to show the same love and mercy that has been shown to us. “For judgement is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgement.” – James 2:13

To everyone reading this:

Let’s be kind to one another. I feel like some of you are going to feel the need to comment on this post, and you can feel free to do so. I’m open to anyone sending me a message, too. But as this post has come from a loving heart, please be respectful and loving, as I've tried to be.

I really do love you all. Jesus Christ loves you infinitely much more. I know that a simple blog won’t necessarily change the world, but it’s one way that I know how to speak up in love. There’s a lot more to say about all of this, too, but I just wanted to cover the most crucial points… At least the ones I could think of.

No matter who you are, I pray that you’ll be blessed.

Much, much love,

Lauren E. Butler

(LB)